When you come to your husband with a problem or a concern, be ready for him to create an action plan to resolve your conflict. I'm afraid he'll make a bad decision. If you feel unhappy, first examine reality. You are not your husbands Holy Spirit. Even if his sex drive is lower than yours, he should want to make love at least sometimes. First, seek to find your own happiness, within yourself.
It may not be exactly what you would do, but he is offering a solution. Cheating I think this goes without saying, but if you cheat on your husband, you will ruin your marriage. An affair may be about completely different things but it implies betrayal. Our goal when voicing sexual complaints to a spouse should be to introduce the topic and become more comfortable with discussing it. They have just been neglectful, indifferent, contemptuous, asexual, demeaning, insulting, but they haven't cheated. There was a little drama and a few tears, and the conversation about our sex life is ongoing. Billions of people have had sex. When you are critical or sarcastic with your husband, he feels attacked and unvalued. A part of that is not what he gives me directly—but how he allows me to be in the world. You can have a sex happy marriage even in a long term one. The truth is that the clash of human nature with the expectations of modern culture and society is such that our sexual desires will always be at some conflict with the realities of our lives. If your husband is not interested in pleasing you, and seems almost disconnected during sex—Red Flag! It is important to remember that the main goal of marriage should be peace and happiness. If you are constantly badmouthing and belittling him, then they will view him as a bad partner for you. In other words, blame and accusations have no place in a productive discussion about sex. As the WSJ article points out, we talk a lot about sex—but rarely to the person that we are having sex with. Spouses can treat each other horribly, and yet we only get in a tizzy when one or the other cheats. You are only one thought away from a peaceful life. Words are like toothpaste, once they are out, there is no getting them back in. If you don't give the time of day to your husband and the two of you never see each other due to work commitments, your marriage will be on the rocks very quickly. When you come to your husband with a problem or a concern, be ready for him to create an action plan to resolve your conflict. Marriage Counseling Going to a certified marriage and family therapist and getting counseling is a great way to start the process of working on your marriage. If you must whine at your husband, tell him upfront that you don't require a solution, just an ear to hear. It requires an ability to be really vulnerable with your partner, and there is no book that can really teach you how to do that. And then, work to see the peace that is available to you.
Video about demeaning sex married:
Sex Love Life (Rated R)
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